Sunday, November 8, 2009

The Iceman 99, The Corona Virus 0

This evening I attempted to forecast the number of times that I have been infected with the common cold in my lifetime, and the projection came out at 99.2 times on the high end (I assume that I caught a cold a lot as an infant). I am confident declaring that my white blood cells have vanquished the Corona virus at least 99 times. In this most recent victory, symptoms first surfaced on Friday. So I went out played 4 hours of golf in the freezing rain and went home and got drunk on blueberry cider. By Saturday afternoon, all symptoms were gone. In my entire adult life, I have never lost a day of productivity to the Corona virus. The cat keeps coming back the very next year because that bug envelops itself in snot to survive on surfaces for days. Having not been infected with swine flu in BC, I am feeling really good about my decisive white blood cell victory over an evolved pathogen.

I also went to the mall today, and it was packed bumper to bumper. Consumers are still engaging in large scale commerce in BC. JC Penny may need to hire a few extra employees this month. Keep it up BC! And I understand parents wanting to err on the side of caution, but if your toddler has the common cold, they don't belong in the Emergency Room. Do what they did when I was a kid, lots of blankets, water, chicken soup, and Gilligan's Island.

1 comment:

  1. As the Iceman might say if he were Jay-Z, I have 99 problems but the Corona virus ain't one...