Recycled Paper or Recycled Meat?

I love the delicious irony of Green activists opposed to commercial logging planning to use tones of recycled paper at the upcoming Copenhagen Conference on Climate Change. A murdered tree is still a murdered tree whether it goes through the mill once or twice. That’s like suggesting that it is okay for an animal rights activist to eat meat so long as they eat it out of the ass end of a human being instead of the butcher. The animal is still dead. I suppose there is a significant overlap in the climate activist population and the animal rights activist population. They absorb each other’s talking points to advance their position.

But when you think about it, plants love eating fecal matter. Try going outside and dropping your morning deuce in the same corner every morning for a month and then watch the miracle of flourishing plant life unfold. Vegans are really only one degree of separation from eating fecal matter, while meat eaters allow a separate healthy organism to eat the plant and convert it into blood and meat before we feast. I don’t understand why the vegans don’t cut out the middle man and just go straight to eating shit. Plants eat carbon. We need all the "carbon eaters" alive and feasting as CO2 levels increase in nature. If PETA really wants to be in harmony with the natural world, they should stop murdering healthy carbon eating plants and just go straight to the real source of plant life, feces. Imagine how many lives you can save by going brown.

My holiday public service announcement to the activists about to descend on Denmark;

EAT SHIT!