Do You Care About The Juno Awards?

That is today's poll question. Personally I won't be watching and couldn't name with certainty any winners from the last 10 years. Michael Bubble probably won one or two. Drake is a big deal. Didn't Justin Beiber cut in front of Tony Clement in line at the airport once? At least the Junos are a few notches above the Gemini Awards, which have become a joke and should be abolished. Any crap green lit by the CBC can win a Gemini in one of about 10,000 categories. At least Juno winners have to sell a few albums. Do you care enough to at least find out who won, if not watch the show? William Shatner is hosting this year. He's hard to book.

Groundhog Day

Happy Groundhog Day everyone! If you've missed it thus far, the most famous groundhogs seem to be at odds with each other as to whether it is warming or cooling, on this a day when weather experts admitted that the cold winter they predicted isn't happening. The explanation is that strong jet streams are trapping cold air in the arctic. That should be great for the polar bears right? But this "holiday" (if you can call it that) is about the rodents, and really amounts to nothing more than a coin toss. Statistically the little critter is right about 50% of the time.

My own observation about this Groundhog Day in Vancouver was an unusually high number of traffic accidents this morning. My regularly 45 minute commute took nearly 3 hours. It was a nightmare this morning on Vancouver roads. The weather was fine, conditions normal, just a cluster of traffic incidents on Groundhog Day. Spooky, though I'm sure nothing more than a coincidence.

The Dictator

This week I took my nephews to see the latest Mission Impossible, and by far the biggest response from the audience was this preview for the latest film by the creator of Borat spoofing Lybian dictator Muammar Gaddafi. We'll see if the movie to be released this summer is as funny as the preview, but it is appropriate that this movie was made in the same year that two nutty and dangerous dictators died. It might not be easy to find comedy in Middle Eastern megalomania, but if anyone can pull it off, it is Borat.

A History Channel Thanksgiving

This has not been a great season of South Park, but their most recent episode "a History Channel Thanksgiving" was good for a hearty laugh. It pokes fun at what is now considered "history" on the History Channel, such as the show Ancient Aliens which speculates extra terrestrial involvement in pretty much every significant event of human history. The episode also ridicules the people who pass for experts on some of these outlandish documentaries. Was the first Thanksgiving catered by aliens? You decide!

Personally I used to be a big fan of the History Channel but rarely watch their regular programming anymore. Brad Meltzer's Decoded had potential, but I've been watching that and it's a joke. They rarely figure out anything substantive and they are too easily seduced by conspiracy theories. Was the Statue of Liberty intended as a symbol of devil worship? Stay tuned! Did a cult in the Southern USA successfully predicted the end of the world? Maybe! We'll find out when the sun explodes! The channel has made some terrible programming decisions. Ice road truckers? How far can you pushed this? Seriously? One episode was all that anyone needed to see.

Fact and Film is always fun, and most of their military programing is well done; but there is a lot of crap on the History Channel these days. That was the basis for the latest episode of South Park.

Man Killed By Cash Cab

Friday night in Vancouver a man was killed after being struck by the Discovery Channel's "Cash Cab" following filming of the TV show by the same name. It is a show where they drive around in a fake taxi cab picking people up then asking them trivia questions in exchange for cash prizes. I've seen part of an episode of this show, and it did not interest me. Have you ever watched the show Cash Cab? That is today's poll question (it is a slow news weekend). Thus far no charges have been laid and the investigation is ongoing.

We'll see if the Discovery Channel continues carrying the show.

The World Is Still Alive

Surprise, surprise, the end of the world was predicted for today and it looks like we're going to make it. The clock has struck midnight in the eastern time zone, with 3 hours left to go here in Vancouver on the west coast. Maybe I should have waited before posting this because I don't want to jinx anything by proclaiming the world did not die today. We still have 3 hours for the left coast to sink into the Pacific, so I'll keep my fingers crossed that the sun will come up tomorrow.

The real winners in the failure of this one apocalyptic prediction are the proponents of the world ending in December 2012 at the end of the Mayan calendar. Those are the people who have to feel vindicated. They could not have liked this one lone kook encroaching on their turf. The world can only end once, and there is surely no definitive agreement with the apocalyptic movement.

NDP Arts Caucus

The NDP has found a 'Quebec friendly' theme for their first term as the official opposition, introducing their arts caucus at a comically bad press conference. Their purpose was to introduce new MPs with a background in the arts, but none of them were actually prepared to have a substantive discussion about the arts. When journalists asked them about arts policy, Charlie Angus told them that the NDP is not the government. "When we are government you will see that platform be brought forward in one of our first press conferences but now we are the Official Opposition so we’re not bringing out our election platform to you and saying we demand this to be implemented". Way to dodge the question Charlie! So the NDP are going to wait until they win an election to announce their policy platform?

The toughest questions for the arts caucus came from the Quebec media. On reporter even asked "why are you holding a press conference here this morning? Are you announcing something? Promising something? Are you worried about the majority you are facing? Do you think that you can have any kind of influence?" You have to enjoy those moments when the journalists attending a press conference have to ask why a press conference is even taking place.

Ignatieff Don't Impress Me Much

Today's poll question; what should be Ignatieff's campaign theme song? My 3 favourites are Rasputin by Boney M, Lust For Life by Iggy Pop, and That Don't Impress Me Much by Shania Twain. Okay, so you taught at Harvard; that don't impress me much. The first verse of the song is a great metaphor of Ignatieff. There were many great suggestions for campaign music, but I had to narrow it down to 10 choices.

"I've known a few guys who thought they were pretty smart
But you've got being right down to an art
You think you're a genius, you drive me up the wall
You're a regular original, a "know it all"


Ohwooh, you think you're special
Ohwooh, you think you're something else


Ok, so you're a rocket scientist...


That don't impress me much!
So you got the brains, but have you got the touch?
Now Don't get me wrong, yeah I think you're alright
But that won't keep me warm in the middle of the night
That don't impress me much!"

I strongly recommend Iggy Pop's Lust For Life if for no other reason the shocking resemblance between these two men. Both are worth a million in prizes and dance like hypnotizing chickens.



Loser by Beck is a great song. Historically I don't think it gets enough credit, especially how it describes Iggy's political future.

Stephen Harper TV Star?

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has filmed a scene for the television show "Murdoch Mysteries" where he plays a police Sergeant. The episode will be aired next month, and I will reserve my judgement of his acting prowess at that time. Do I think he has a career as a TV star after politics? No. I'm not even sure that I like my Prime Minister playing a fictional role on a television series while in office. Brief appearances in shows as the leader are acceptable, like Bill Clinton in Contact. Laureen might very well have talked him into this, but I'm not sure it was a good decision. A little help from my friends at the Arts Centre was a great idea, but you can take the arts angle too far.

My Idea For Two And A Half Men

Good on CBS for firing Charlie Sheen. The show must continue as soon as they can get production rolling. I would even like to pitch a plot idea for how they should resume the show. Have Allan wake up one morning and Charlie is gone without explanation. Maybe he leaves a short note like he just stepped out for a night of hookers and blow, then never returns. Eventually everyone becomes worried that something might have happened to him, so they call the police. The detective assigned to the case is John Stamos.

Somewhere in the investigation Stamos tracks down Charlie's long lost 10 year old son who is basically a ten year old parody of Charlie. Better yet, the kid can be a child star, either in TV or music. There are several different directions they could take that story line. The kid could win ownership of the house in court, and moves in with his step dad.

That's my idea for the show. I would like to see it succeed without Charlie. Chuck Lorre also does Big Bang Theory, which is a marvelously written show. They must hire John Stamos. Charlie is not a fan of John Stamos.

Ignatieff Needs a Dose Of "Charlie Sheen"

Iggy recently compared Stephen Harper to Charlie Sheen??? Here I was under the impression that Charlie Sheen is a winner. The latest polling numbers certainly indicate that Stephen Harper is "winning" big, so maybe that much they have in common (minus the hookers and blow). Ignatieff is clearly not a winner. Therefore the Liberals should seek out the advice of Charlie on how to become winners. It is doubtful that they could afford his speaker's fee, but why not hire him to give a motivational speech at the next Thinkapalooza? Do you want to win? Charlie knows how to win. He's not bipolar, he's "biwinning".

By the way, this post was written with tongue in cheek. I'm not sure Iggy's latest TMZ culture drop is the sort of thing that belongs in our parliament. Leave the sarcasm and hyperbole to the blogosphere...

Cheering For Celebrity Trainwrecks

Today's poll question; which celebrity trainwreck do you most want to see succeed in life? Who, if any, are you cheering for? It could be Mel Gibson, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse, Gary Busey, Mike Tyson, Whitney Houston, Tom Sizemore, Britney Spears, etc. This is not a moribund poll of who do you want to see crash and burn, but rather who do you want to see live a long and fruitful life in the public spotlight. There is a none of the above option, but there are also enough choices that there has to be someone you are secretly rooting for. Personally I still have not decided between Tom Sizemore and John Daly for the trainwreck I'd like to see succeed.

UPDATE: I voted for John Daly. "You don't know me, like I know me."

Charlie Sheen Is Crazy

It would appear that having the best rated sitcom on television can really feed an ego, because having listened to the latest Charlie Sheen radio rants, that guy is borderline delusional. Doesn't he have a publicist to tell him to stop these radio interviews, or does he even listen? Two and a half men has now been cancelled...err, postponed...indefinitely despite being #1. He seems mystified by his own "talent", despite the fact that he only succeeds playing characters that are exactly like him in real life. He can only be Charlie. He has no diversity as an actor, and it boggles the mind that this ego maniac is making $1.2 million dollars an episode when he should be in a prison cell. He makes me want to cheer for Lindsay Lohan.

Can I also say that as an amateur film critic, I think his performance in Platoon is drastically overrated. Watch the movie again. The guy can't act his way out of a wet paper bag. All he can do is crack jokes when he's playing a rich, drug addicted, playboy. That's it, so please, don't take Charlie's word for it about the scope of his ability...

Oh, and how many no-name radio hosts are begging to get Charlie for an interview. Nobody had ever heard of Alex Jones before the Sheen interview.

Movie Of The Year?

With the Oscars coming soon, which nominee do you think was the best movie of the year? That is today's poll question. I have yet to see a single movie on this list, though I fully intend to rent the Fighter when it is released on video. There have been so many bad movies in the last 5 years that I don't rent nearly as many films as I used to and I very rarely go to the movie theatre anymore. The clips I've seen of Christian Bale in the Fighter are phenomenal. It is difficult to pick an Oscar favourite if you haven't seen any of the movies. This year I will be endorsing the Fighter, because I enjoyed its trailer above all other trailers.

How was Marky Mark not nominated for best actor? That being said, the biggest controversy might be why was the Expendables not nominated for a single award? Not one! This is a crime against humanity.

Do You Tweet?

Today's poll question; do you use Twitter? I have asked this question before, and last time it was well under 20%. That was over one year ago and Twitter seems to have risen in popularity in politics and pop culture. Lady Gaga can tweet one Youtube clip and turn a Winnipeg girl into an overnight celebrity. The kid posts a clip of her singing a Lady Gaga song, and the next day a limo is picking her up from school.

I use Twitter for website content, where I collect short thoughts and respond to other people's tweets (which is then posted on my blog). I have 900 career tweets and currently sit at 84 Twitter followers. So I get a new follower for just over ever 10 tweets. Tony Clement has 2,678 tweets and 11,502 followers, so he gets roughly 4 new followers for each tweet. I'm not jealous, he has a higher profile, ran for leader of the Conservative Party, and is on TV on a regular basis. Stephen Taylor has over 8,000 tweets and just under 11,000 followers. Tony has a better slugging percentage.

One thing that a lot of people do is follow as many people as possible, because if you follow someone they are more likely to follow you. Tony Clement follows over 10,000 people (including @pragmatictory). I follow 35. I try to keep my list short because I don't want to flood my Twitter page. People who Tweet way too much bother me, even if I like their opinion. I don't like to log in, and just see one person with 30 tweets in the last hour, drowning out everyone else. There are at least 15 people that I used to follow but stopped following for no other reason than they tweeted way too much.

Unstoppable

I have watched a lot of bad movies in the last two years. There are a number that I would not even watch until the end despite paying money for the privilege. That being said, I rented Unstoppable with Denzel and the new Captain Kirk, and I very much enjoyed the film. If you are looking for something to do in the evening in the near future, Unstoppable is worth watching. Chris Pine has a future, though I would still rank him talent wise behind Christian Bale.

My late grandfather was a train engineer/conductor, and as a youngster I had the opportunity to ride with him once in the lead car. Perhaps based on these childhood memories I am more inclined to enjoy this movie than others. Take that for what it's worth, but I still think you'll like the film.

Norm MacDonald Gets A Sports Show

Canadian comedian Norm MacDonald finally has his own sports show, and as a sports fan I think that's excellent! If you want a good laugh, just watch this clip of Norm hosting the ESPN Awards in 1998. I am a big fan of Norm MacDonald; "there's Charles Woodson, what a season he had. He became the first defensive player to win the Heisman Trophy, and that is something Charles that they can never take away from you...unless you kill your wife and a waiter, in that case, all bets are off." Comedy gold. Stormin' Norman is awesome.

Super Bowl Commercials

There is one event each year where as many people tune in to watch television commercials as the actual game itself, and that's Super Bowl time. My top 3 all-time favourite Super Bowl commercials are 1) Green Police, 2) Federline Fry Cook, 3) Cat Herders. There have been some classic Bud Light commercials, like the one where a couple is driving home and there is a hitch hiker carrying an axe and a case of Bud Light. The dude says should we pick him up, he's got Bud Light? In 2011 I hope we get a sequel to Green Police.

Enjoy the game. I am saying Packers 31- Steelers 27.

Groundhog Day Or Coin Toss Day?

Today's poll question; do you put any stock in the prediction based on a groundhog seeing its shadow? I know Groundhog Day gives a couple small communities the opportunity to throw a party, but I am considering starting my own rival celebration called "Coin Toss Day". If the coin flips its tails, we get 6 more weeks of winter. I am willing to bet that my predictor is equally as accurate as the over-sized rodent. In my personal opinion Groundhog Day is completely useless, and the only good thing it has ever produced was a funny Bill Murray movie.

Political Comedy

One of my guilty pleasures in life is listening to or watching political comedy. I am a political junkie, and I enjoy people making jokes about politics. Unfortunately while the right dominates talk radio, the left has had a long stranglehold on the political comedy genre. I don't have a definitive explanation for why successful comedians who satire politics are so much more likely to be batting from the left side of the plate. In Canada the gap is even larger, as we have a severe shortage of right wing comedians who make frequent relevant jokes about Canadian politics.

In the United States, two of my favourites are Nick DiPaolo and Dennis Miller. Those guys crack me up. Sadly we don't have Canadian equivalents. Who is out there that I haven't heard of yet? If they have podcasts I'd love to subscribe. If Sun TV news were going to do a late night comedy show, who gets the job?