Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Harmonized Farts

Tonight I was out out on the balcony with my parents cooking some delicious BBQ, and I farted. The acoustics of the bowel movement was such that it elicited laughter. I said "I can squeeze it out like a someone playing the trumpet to sound good, but it is still shit. Not unlike the Harmonized Sales Tax, I can make it sound really great coming out of my asshole, but once it spreads, it smells like shit." We then started asking, which scale should you adopt to measure the effectiveness of a fart, let's call it the sphincter scale. This led to a debate of whether the acoustics of the fart or its stink is the best measure of its devastation. I argued the smell, my father argued the sound. "Yes dad, but I can clear a room with a fart that nobody heard." His rebuttal was "sure you can clear the room with a stink, but nobody enjoys it. But if you can make it sound good, they can at least laugh at the melody as they flee."

I then go to my mom and say "is fart humour the lowest comedic denominator?" She said "no, everybody farts, even Queen Elizabeth farts." Which then led to me breaking out into a spoof of REM's Everybody Hurts, that was "everybody farts, sometimes."

Perhaps the rest of the world may not concur that this was a humourous conversation, but we laughed our asses off, pun intended...

Just don't pull my finger...

No comments:

Post a Comment