Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Hockey, Hockey, Hockey

I am spending Christmas this year with my 3 year old nephew, and he is crazy obsessed with hockey. It is all he wants to do or watch, but we have a problem...he seems to like the Toronto Maple Leafs. Clearly he is not a fan of playoff hockey, as the Leafs suck, but at this young age he associates the Toronto maple leaf with the Canadian maple leaf. I am trying to explain to him that red maple leaf good, blue maple leaf bad, but it isn't really getting through. I told my sister that it is important to snap him out of it to save him from a long tortured life that comes with cheering for Toronto.

Any tips or advice on how to brainwash a 3 year old?


  1. The reason he likes the Leaves is because they are the team on Canadian TV ALL THE TIME. Stop watching CBC.

  2. Is it too early for a Don Cherry action figure?

    Pull the string and it says:
    .."stuff that in your pipe you left wing Pinkos?"

  3. This one is easy if you have any writing talent!

    Simply write a children's book in the style of Dr.Seuss,only with a negative attitude toward the Leafs.

    Sample title: "The Grinch Who Lost the Stanley Cup", complete with pictures of Leafs from now and days past. The "Grinch" ,well Harold Ballard is PERFECT for that role!

    With some repetitive rhyming, and several dozen reads to the kid, soon he'll be convinced the Leafs are villains,and will choose another team.

    Hm, lemme see here,

    "Twas the night before the playoffs
    Teams practiced with force
    Except for the maple Leafs
    Who graced their golf course"

    I know you can do better............

    As long as it's not Columbus or Florida you steer the child toward,everything will be okay.


  4. Sorry,Ice,that poetry wasn't up to my usual standards, so:

    Young man laughed the sportswriter,you’re sort of a dunce,
    if you think the Leafs can win even once
    Their hearts are too small,and you might as well know it
    When teams dump their garbage
    Here’s the place that they throw it

    If you cheer fifty years with your heart and your soul
    The Leafs will always let in that last minute goal
    The Leafs won’t win until after you’re in Heaven
    So you’d better forget that Cup back in 1967.

    With sincere apologies to Dr.Seuss, but it MIGHT work.


    Merry Christmas

  5. A children's book about how much the Maple Leafs suck...interesting...

    I like that