One of my friends finally managed to drag me to watch a UFC event, on television, not in person. As a life long boxing fan, I have been reluctant to even watch a minute of UFC. It is not as a matter of moral outrage at "human cockfighting" as John McCain once said. Í don't enjoy watching two men roll around on a carpet for 30 minutes. I prefer my fighting to be two contestants standing on their feet punching each other in the head repeatedly until somebody falls down and can't get back up.
The Ultimate Fighting had its moments. It was interesting to break down the mechanics, discuss the various types of martial arts, debate the rise and fall of Kimbo Slice, joke about the marketeer who decided it a good idea to put an ad for "Condom Palace" on the ass end of one dude's trunks; but at the end of the day boxing is still #1 for me. I just don't watch much boxing these days because I much prefer the heavyweights, and there is not a compelling big man right now. The Klitchkos are extremely boring to watch. They have deconstructed it into a science that is not fun for the spectator. Until the Klitchkos fight each other, I don't have much time for boxing. I will be waiting for the next 24 year old phenom that keeps knocking people out. Oh, and we also bought the pay per view for Tyson V McNeely, and after that experience I vowed never to buy any pay per view TV sporting event of any kind ever again. You scored our $50 Don King, but "never again"...
Anybody henceforth being introduced to boxing for the first time, there are five fights that you must watch, preferably in sequence. 1) Ali V Frazier I, 2) Frazier V Foreman, 3) Ali V Foreman, 4) Balboa V Thunderlips, 5) Balboa V Drago.
Speaking of which I went on a satirical rant before this gathering of Ultimate Fighting fans as I was preparing to leave. Based on the level of laughter elicited, I should probably share it here:
Well gentlemen it has been a pleasure watching this spectacle with you this evening though I must be on my way. This was interesting, but you have been unsuccessful in converting me to UFC from boxing. I have probably watched the movie Rocky IV 300 times in my life. I watched as Rocky Balboa single handedly collapsed the Soviet Union. That speech, "if I can change….and you can change….everybody can change!!!" That inspiring, tear jerking melody by Prophet Stallone personified the first crack in the Berlin Wall. Do you believe for a second that they did not watch Rocky IV at the Kremlin? I bet they had group screenings of it! Within a month of the release of Rocky IV, a panicked Gorbachov appointed the revolutionary Boris Yeltsin to a powerful post in the Politburo, and so the seeds of demise were planted.
"There are cheers now for Rocky Balboa! Suddenly Moscow is pro-Rocky!"
The pressure from that force of nature was too much for the Iron Curtain to bear.
Sly 4 Life!
"Yassisbyatt! Yassisbyatt!" - Ivan Drago
ReplyDeletetranslates to
"I fight to win, for me! For Me!"
It is as if Yeltsin watched R4 and said "I need to do something!" And Gorbacheff watched it and said "we need to do something".
ReplyDeleteYeltsin sought power, Gorbochoff granted it.
You can't prove that this did not happen in a private screening of R4 at the Kremlin. ;)
I must also credit Prophet Bill Simmons at ESPN for tipping me to the Rocky taking down the iron curtain theory.
ReplyDeleteI always tought you were a big Chuck Liddel fan :-)
ReplyDeleteUFC does have its moments, but boxing's a timeless pugilist's sport despite its black eyes over the years.
ReplyDeleteAlthough not heavyweight, I'd add Hagler vs. Hearns, Meldrick Taylor Vs. Julio Cesar Chavez I, and the Ward/Gatti trio to your list.
And Balboa could wipe the floor with the Klitchos in a movie. ^^ Though I prefer Balboa vs. Apollo Creed II over the Drago fight. How epic is dragging yourself off the mat with one second in the count left to win the title is that, from a sports standpoint? :)
Further, if anyone shelled out $50 for the Holyfield/Tyson ear-bite, I'd have asked for a refund and refused to buy PPV sports for a very long time, too.
ReplyDelete