Thursday, May 5, 2011

Now That We Have A Majority...

Ha Ha Ha, we fooled Canadians and have squeezed out a majority government! Now we are free to unveil our secret hidden agenda and subvert our democracy! Woo Hoo! What's the point of ever having another election when we can have Stephen Harper as Prime Minister for life? Fixed election dates every 20 years sounds about right. We can sell Evan Soloman and Terry Milewski to North Korea, sell our hospitals to the United States, and make it illegal to even think about sex before marriage. Thought police...think about it. With an oil tanker in every driveway we can herd the poor into open pit mining gulags in Nunavut. I am so excited for this new country that we have created that I am going to steal candy from the next baby I see!

We should offer George Bush a Senate seat so that we can put him in cabinet. Who cares if he's not Canadian, we have a majority and we can do anything we want to do! Dick Chenney the next inductee into the Order of Canada? Two words, invade Cuba. Mandatory church attendance on Sundays, enforceable by jail terms. The question is not whether or not to disband the CBC, it is whether or not to send all their employees to secret prisons. Not only do I want more prisons, I want more secret prisons. Aircraft carriers, lots of them, such that we could bomb countries that allow abortions. I can't be the only one who wants to build a military base on the moon. Can we at least build a Death Star?

Come on people, we have a majority! We can do anything we want! I am being completely serious, not sarcastic at all...


  1. From now on, every Wednesday is Carbon Day. We'll vent a few megatonnes of C02 out of those carbon sequestration wells.

    And Thursday we can kill baby seals on the steps of Parliament.

    Oh, and gay concentration camps .... and a bible in every taxi!!

  2. We need to slide a law into our tough on crime legislation that makes it illegal to be Elizabeth May. That way we could arrest her and send her to a secret jail for no other reason than being Elizabeth May.

  3. Free beer and popcorn Fridays!!

    Free handguns for all CPC members.

    Force Stephane Dion to eat hotdogs without using cutlery.

    Change Halloween to National KKK Day, and make it a public holiday.

    Free auto insurance for anyone owning a pickup truck, mobile home, or riding mower. Especially if they tow a large BBQ behind them.

    Free pork-pulling lessons. Except for Opposition leaders.

    Make Lizzie mow the Parliament Hill lawn every week. With her teeth.

    Force all NDP Chicks -- and Lizzie -- to shave their bums.

  4. What? Hitler is posting comments on my blog? Must be because we won a majority!

    In the past I floated the idea of building a 100 foot tall platinum statue of Prime Minister Stephen Harper on the lawn of Parliament. Now that we have a majority, let's make this happen. It will create jobs. That's what we're all about, creating jobs.

  5. shhhhhh....keep it down - it is supposed to be our secret agenda - we can't share it all at once!!!

  6. But this is not the party of Joe Clark, Kim Campbell, and Jean Charest. This is not what I voted for! The fact that Hitler is posting on your blog makes me want to vomit. The only thing I am reading here that I can support is the idea of passing a bill entitled, 'A Bill to Make it Illegal to be Elizabeth May.'

    Also, I think it would be cool to have a Death Star - with the word, 'Canadarm' emblazoned on the side. At least we'd be known for something right?

    In a perfect world, Donald Trump would be waiting in the wings to take over from Stephen Harper - of course, only at such time as our glorious leader deigns it best to pass the torch to another with much hair (real or not, I don't know...)

    And I too am being completely serious, not sarcastic at all...

  7. Wonder how long before some media person quotes from this with, see we warned you.
    What I do believe we will see is a more relaxed PMSH, and maybe a less pit bullish Baird. But, I do believe there will be snide references to getting late night massages when Layton asks a question in the HofC.
    As every new mp gets to make a members speech sometime, those ndp gals will be fun to listen to, to see if they can read what the big guys write for them. Who will they get for staff, I can't see a lot of senior people working for students.

  8. LOL!On a serious side note though pay attention to what the NDP posts and you will be able to formulate a good counter arguement-

    Also im not sure who this Global Intergrity Index are but you may want to take a look-

    Now according to this we still rank 100 as far as internet freedom goes
    Our political financial transparency is among the highest in the world.
    Both points that the Toronto Star fails to point out in their partisan leftist article here-

    Still we can do better than Argentina,Canada!

  9. Because I worked so diligently on the Conservative campaign,I am being rewarded with the rank of Obersturmbannfuhrer in the new Liebstandarte Stephen Harper.

    Let's get to work building the reeducation camps,where we'll reeducate the people.

    Really,we will. They'll be better for it.

    I just can't wait for that snappy uniform to arrive from my tailors, Goldberg and Sons.


    Elizabeth May arrested for impersonating EDITH BUNKER.
    Interveiew With Archie on 6 o;clock news

  11. BILDERBURG harper will be true to his campaign promise
    you gave it to him and he will deliver it next meeting.
    keeping have been usful tools ....but you will soon get thrown overboard too