It is Apocalypse Day on the History Channel, and as a Conservative I am like a moth drawn to the proverbial lake of fire. We must set Government policy around the central theme of the end of the world. If you doubt me, just listen to the Nostradamus expert, he clearly knows more than you do and is never wrong. We need to pass a law mandating that all new homes built must have Apocalypse shelters. We need to offer Apocalypse tax credits to people who would like to retrofit their basements with Apocalypse shelters.
What other Apocalypse policies do we need to rush through the Senate? What about a state run Apocalypse Insurance program? We can garnish everyone's wages to pay for the building a massive bio dome deep in the Earth where we can gather the sheep, err I mean Canadians. Do we need to tax the wicked a little extra? The more evil you are, the higher your Apocalypse insurance premium should be. Or do we even try to save the wicked?
Evidently I have some work to do to convince the rest of my fellow Conservatives that the world is ending, based on my own recent polling data:
Do you believe that human civilization is coming to an end?
PS: This post is completely and totally sarcastic in an attempt to make fun of a book recently written in Canada that claims Armageddon theorists have hijacked our government's policy. That was news to me as a news obsessed Tory pundit. When I tried to convince people that Sly Stallone personally took down the Soviet Union, that time I was being serious.
"Ignorance is bliss when it is folly to be wise"
-Jim Lahey, Trailer Park Supervisor