The World Is Still Alive

Surprise, surprise, the end of the world was predicted for today and it looks like we're going to make it. The clock has struck midnight in the eastern time zone, with 3 hours left to go here in Vancouver on the west coast. Maybe I should have waited before posting this because I don't want to jinx anything by proclaiming the world did not die today. We still have 3 hours for the left coast to sink into the Pacific, so I'll keep my fingers crossed that the sun will come up tomorrow.

The real winners in the failure of this one apocalyptic prediction are the proponents of the world ending in December 2012 at the end of the Mayan calendar. Those are the people who have to feel vindicated. They could not have liked this one lone kook encroaching on their turf. The world can only end once, and there is surely no definitive agreement with the apocalyptic movement.

Discouraging Abortion

While I have always been and always will be pro choice, I do think that there is a good reason to discourage abortion in Canada 2011. It is not a matter of religion or morality (I am an agnostic humanist), but rather a simple matter of economics. The baby boomers are starting to retire and we are about to face a very serious labour demographic problem in our country. There is about to be an enormous influx of cost on a shrinking labour force. Canada pension expenses goes up, health care costs explode, and there are fewer tax payers to pay for it. Ladies of Canada, I support your right to choose, but right now we need future workers and we need them as soon as you can produce them. Please start cranking out more kids.

And read America Alone by Mark Steyn.

Where Have All The Young Men Gone?

If you are still sitting on the fence about Polygamy, here is another reason to oppose it; evidently young males have a habit of "going missing" in Polygamist communities. In the case of Bountiful BC, an estimated 20% of the men are "missing". "These patterns suggest some combination of an outflow of men and an inflow of women."

They are screwing with the natural balance of available men and available women, which creates sociological problems. What is social justice? Is it allowing freedom of religion, or condemning a practice which condemns a segment of the population and encourages the exportation of the sexual competition? Polygamy needs to be against the law and enforced as such, even if it means using the Charter's infamous "notwithstanding clause". Pierre put it in there because even he realized our courts can be crazy.

Angels & Demons

I just finished watching the film Angels and Demons, and I must say that I was very entertained. I thought that this film was far better than the Davinci Code and that Tom Hanks was fantastic. Chasing down historical and architectural clues to solve a complex mystery is always quality entertainment. If you are a Catholic, you should find Angels and Demons less offensive than the Davinci Code, though depending on your level of devotion you may not want to watch either. To author Dan Brown I would say that your common theme of having the Catholic Church employ super thugs to attack itself is getting tired.

I read the Davinci Code and loved the book, but not the film (which I saw after reading the book). I have not read the book Angels and Demons, but I very much enjoyed the movie. Ron Howard is an excellent director, and I can't remember the last time he made a bad movie (EdTV notwithstanding).

I give Angels & Demons a solid B-.

Who Is Earth's Most Evil Leader?

Who do you think is the most evil leader in the world? There are two metrics to consider, 1) total amount of evil, 2) capability of causing harm. As Conservatives we all agree that the world is going to be destroyed by an anti-Christ in the near future, so who is that ultimate bad guy most likely to be? Being a Conservative has nothing to do with personal freedoms and small government, it is about preparing everyone to die. I don't know about you, but that's why I'm a Conservative. (that's sarcasm by the way)...

Here is my starting list, am I forgetting anyone? I am looking for leaders currently leading a country. Obama doesn't count. I don't believe he's evil, just wrong.

1) Kim Jong Ill (North Korea)
2) The Ayatollah (Iran)
3) Hugo Chavez (Venezuela)
4) Vladimir Putin (Russia)
5) The Burmese Military junta
6) That guy in the Sudan
7) Qadaffy (Lybia)

It's the end of the World as we know it...

It is Apocalypse Day on the History Channel, and as a Conservative I am like a moth drawn to the proverbial lake of fire. We must set Government policy around the central theme of the end of the world. If you doubt me, just listen to the Nostradamus expert, he clearly knows more than you do and is never wrong. We need to pass a law mandating that all new homes built must have Apocalypse shelters. We need to offer Apocalypse tax credits to people who would like to retrofit their basements with Apocalypse shelters.

What other Apocalypse policies do we need to rush through the Senate? What about a state run Apocalypse Insurance program? We can garnish everyone's wages to pay for the building a massive bio dome deep in the Earth where we can gather the sheep, err I mean Canadians. Do we need to tax the wicked a little extra? The more evil you are, the higher your Apocalypse insurance premium should be. Or do we even try to save the wicked?

Evidently I have some work to do to convince the rest of my fellow Conservatives that the world is ending, based on my own recent polling data:

Do you believe that human civilization is coming to an end?

No (81%)
Yes (13%)
Undecided (5%)

PS: This post is completely and totally sarcastic in an attempt to make fun of a book recently written in Canada that claims Armageddon theorists have hijacked our government's policy. That was news to me as a news obsessed Tory pundit. When I tried to convince people that Sly Stallone personally took down the Soviet Union, that time I was being serious.

"Ignorance is bliss when it is folly to be wise"

-Jim Lahey, Trailer Park Supervisor

Conservative Party of Canada: Apocalypse Now?

Here I have spent all this time ardently supporting the Conservative Party of Canada in a public blog, blissfully unaware that I was supporting the Apocalypse Party. Right now in Ottawa, because one leftard wrote a book, Ottawa is a buzz with accusations that Tory MPs believe that the world is soon coming to an end and we are all going to die. Everything the Conservatives do is to prepare for the end of the world, allegedly. When I oppose tax funding of the CBC, allegedly it is only because I want the world to end. Apocalyptic theology allegedly drives my life. I never knew, but a left wing author asserts otherwise.

Personally I find these accusations to be insane, but that is just my humble opinion. Evan Soloman's audience believe that religious fundamentalists have hijacked the Conservative Party. I didn't even know.

A Fatwa Against South Park

It would appear that the creators of the hit comedy show South Park have encountered some threats of violence in response to their 200th episode. They did not show an image of the Prophet Muhammad, but rather presented him in disguise in a bear suit. I strongly suspect that they expected a backlash, but that they wanted to make a strong statement. Muslims can't claim that their religion has been unfairly targeted, as these are the same people who showed Buddha snorting blow, and put Jesus Christ in a wrestling match against Santa Claus. This is what they do, even if it pisses people off.  As luck would have it, this controversial episode is still viewable for free on the Comedy Central website.

I am on the record as one of South Park's biggest fans. While I'm at it, I should also drop a plug for Team America: World Police. I love that movie. Their portrayal of Matt Damon is worth the price of admission alone.

Their description of the war on terrorism at the end tells the story the way it is:

**dirty language warning**

"Pussies might think that they can deal with assholes their way; but the only thing that can fuck an asshole, is a dick, with some balls."

"But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves"

"Catholicism WOW!"

I have to say that I am beginning to feel sympathy for rank and file Catholics who are being dragged through the mud by the sins of their fathers. The Church hierarchy failed to purge the perverts from the clergy, and as such the name of the religion has now become synonymous with child abuse. Regardless of whatever animosities that my Protestant self feels towards the Vatican, I recognize that the overwhelming majority of those who identify themselves as Catholic are good people. That child predators have infiltrated their institution should not reflect poorly on the whole membership, but it is imperative that the clergy finally figure out a way to purge this evil from their system.

If the sitting Pope covered up pedophilia at his own local Church, then he should not be Pope. I'm not sure what the replacement mechanisms are to accomplish that end, but an enabler should not be running the show. Although past conflicts between Protestants and Catholics still remains as a dark cloud in European history, ever since the rise of radical Islam, the tension between the factions of Christianity have been reduced considerably. I am even willing to endorse a Mormon President!

The Passion of the Christ

On this Good Friday, I'd like to give a commemorative shout out to Jesus. Whether or not you believe he was the son of God, few would deny that he existed on planet Earth and that he was indeed executed by the Romans over 2000 years ago. I watched the Passion of the Christ, but not until Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic drunk driving escapade a few years ago. I seriously doubt that the Jewish people forced the Romans to kill their own Messiah, and thus I am very skeptical of Rome's version of events. Perhaps that is a byproduct of my Protestant roots, but whether man or deity, I strongly believe that he was a brilliant and revolutionary figure.

I am a fan of Jesus Christ, and as we commemorate his crucifixion at the hands of the Romans, let us celebrate his contribution to humanity's history of moral philosophy.

Have a Great Friday!

(pun intended)

All thy sun's command

In my 30 years on this planet I have sang our national anthem thousands of times. Now materializes this initiative to change the lyrics from "all thy son's command" to a more gender neutral version; where I have been living under the impression that the verse always was "all thy sun's command" in reference to worship of the Egyptian sun god. Our nation is a mosaic where we accept the culture of others. I had just thought that line was there in tribute to Egyptian Canadians; blissfully unaware that it represented some foul oppression of women's rights and gender equality. You learn something new every day.

I would like to ask, is this initiative really necessary? Son or sun, I have never met a single person who has ever complained about the chauvinist bias of our national anthem. This seems pointless to me. Heavens forbid I pull an Ignatieff, but "I can't see it". What’s the point?

Harry Potter is Awful

I'm not ashamed to admit that I spent the $5 and rented the new Harry Potter. I saw the first movie with my niece, and one of the other ones with my sister. I was mildly entertained by the first one, but the other my sister and I walked out of the theatre and went home about 3/4 in out of boredom. I rented the new one because I went to the video store determined to rent a movie and had seen everything that I was remotely interested in seeing. I decided to test run the new Harry Potter to see if the franchise had improved and it sucked. I didn't even watch the ending. I tuned out when the old guy was trying to drink the potion.

When I'm asked "do you believe in magic" my answer is always no. Anything claiming to be real magic is nothing more than advanced alchemy, like Tweed trying to turn buttermilk into gold in Teddy Ruxpin. Be it the manipulation of light, a slight of hand, a chemical formula, or something of the sort, I do not believe that "magic" exists. The only magic I believe in is that which exists in my scrotum, and that can be explained through science. Most alleged magic is bullshit, and Penn and Teller are among the best at calling a spade a spade. So perhaps my "closed mind" to magic excludes me from the target Harry Potter audience, unlike my friend who attended the premiere dressed as a Wizard.

Since I think the movie is crap, I will not post a link to purchase the film through my Amazon Associates Account. It sucks, don't buy it, and don't rent it. If your child enjoys it, then I do not oppose them watching it. Free will is a bitch, and at the very least it can inspire imagination in our youth. I am not without empathy at the wrongful persecution of Alchemists at the hand of the medieval Catholic Church. I don't want to alienate Conservative Catholics, but I will point out that the Vatican has several skeletons in their closet. A number of ancestors in my attic were militant Protestants circa the 17th century United Kingdom. As a History minor at University, I took a course in the Catholic Reformation which required two term papers on subjects of our choosing; my first was on the Spanish Inquisition and the second was on Humanism (with the subtitle "I'm a fan of man"). That was 10 years ago. I earned a B in the course.

Magic does not exist and the Harry Potter films blow. But if they can get your toddler to shut up for a few hours, it is worth it, regardless of how you feel about the franchise.

Giuliani-Romney 2012

I would like to make a suggestion to Rudy and Mitt. I want both of you two on the Republican ticket in 2012, and I don't really care in what order. If both of you decide to run for the Republican leadership, I would like you to agree to a deal, if either of you win the nomination you will select the other as your running mate. I want a Giuliani-Romney ticket, or even Romney-Giuliani. I am not entirely comfortable with the Mormon Church, but Mitt comes across as the sort to separate Church and State. But if we find out that Mitt gets marching orders from the Grand Temple in Salt Lake City, you are disqualified from my ideal Republican ballot. My parents live in Salt Lake City and I visit them often. We are not fans of the LDS, ergo Mitt must be a really great candidate for me to want him on the ticket, possibly as President.

One of the all-time best episodes of South Park was the one regarding Joseph Smith.

Mike Huckabee creeps me out. Ron Paul is a little too Libertarian. Sarah Palin is better suited for beauty pageants and a talk show. Jindal, no chance. Maybe there is a solid governor out there, but when I look at the preliminary list, I want Rudy and Mitt.

"God Created Darwin, there now everyone is happy"

I was listening to the Dennis Miller Show the other week when he was scheduled to have a guest that was promoting "Intelligent Design", and Miller was a little bit squeamish announcing it. Then he just said "God created Darwin, there now everyone is happy!" Generally when I am discussing religion with dogmatic Catholics, I ask the question "how do you know that God did not invent Natural Selection as his mechanism for species propagation?" I disagree that a benevolent overlord would want to design a system based on specific parameters and pre-write the screenplay. What is wrong with believing that the future has not been decided yet?

To the "militant atheists" out there, you people need to calm the fuck down okay. You don't know how life was created, whether it started as Adam and Eve or a single celled organism. Until the day when a scientist can mix a bunch of inorganic chemicals in a Crockpot, zap it with high voltage electricity and create life that can evolve into this modern civilization; I can never be an athiest. Also, for all your fancy mathematical equations on the birth of our Universe, none of you can say with any reliable certainty what existed at "Time = Zero". You don't know what was here before the big bang or who lit the fuse.

To the dogmatic creationists out there, if you believe that all life forms where designed and pre ordained by God; what say you about that pesky little organism Malaria? God invented Malaria? To cope with this, he then designed people in Malaria outbreak zones to become immune by suffering from sickle cell anemia? Anemia equals low iron in the blood; Malaria feeds off iron in the blood, or something like that. Was it the plan to invent Malaria and then design people to be anemic? If you play that role in ordaining life and space, why not just forget Malaria and Anemia?

As the Mayo Clinic describes:

■ Anemia. Sickle cells are fragile. They break apart easily and die, leaving you chronically short on red blood cells. Red blood cells usually live for about 120 days before they die and need to be replaced. However, sickle cells die after only 10 to 20 days. The result is a chronic shortage of red blood cells, known as anemia. Without enough red blood cells in circulation, your body can't get the oxygen it needs to feel energized. That's why anemia causes fatigue.

■ Episodes of pain. Periodic episodes of pain, called crises, are a major symptom of sickle cell anemia. Pain develops when sickle-shaped red blood cells block blood flow through tiny blood vessels to your chest, abdomen and joints. Pain can also occur in your bones. The pain may vary in intensity and can last for a few hours to a few weeks. Some people experience only a few episodes of pain. Others experience a dozen or more crises a year. If a crisis is severe enough, you may need hospitalization so that pain medication can be injected into your veins (intravenously).

■ Hand-foot syndrome. Swollen hands and feet may be the first signs of sickle cell anemia in babies. The swelling is caused by sickle-shaped red blood cells blocking blood flow out of their hands and feet.

■ Jaundice. Jaundice is a yellowing of the skin and eyes that occurs because of liver damage or dysfunction. Occasionally, people who have sickle cell anemia have some degree of jaundice because the liver, which filters harmful substances from the blood, is overwhelmed by the rapid breakdown of red blood cells. In people with dark skin, jaundice is visible mostly as yellowing of the whites of the eyes.

■ Frequent infections. Sickle cells can damage your spleen, an organ that fights infection. This may make you more vulnerable to infections. Doctors commonly give infants and children with sickle cell anemia antibiotics to prevent potentially life-threatening infections, such as pneumonia.

■ Delayed growth. Red blood cells provide your body with the oxygen and nutrients you need for growth. A shortage of healthy red blood cells can slow growth in infants and children and delay puberty in teenagers.

■ Vision problems. Some people with sickle cell anemia experience vision problems. Tiny blood vessels that supply your eyes may become plugged with sickle cells. This can damage the retina — the portion of the eye that processes visual images.

Does that sound like a merciful cure from a creator that has already decided the end of the story? I say it sounds more like an evolutionary adaptation with side effects. There are strong correlations between viral outbreak zones and sickle cell anemia. Malaria can't flourish in an anemic body. How does it make any moral sense to pre-ordain Malaria with Anemia as the antidote?

Why can't evolution and creationism merge into a better narrative? If we are all to live under the same tent, Protestants and Catholics, religious and agnostic, we are going to have to find a compromise somewhere in the middle on these types of issues. I would identify myself as Humanist-Protestant. I follow the important rules that I believe make our society a better place to live. Don't kill people, don't steal from people, etc. I attended Sunday school as a young child. I know the rules. I don't commit crimes, and I even hold doors open for old people. Are you going to tell me that I'm going to Hell because I'm highly skeptical of the Vatican?

The Passion of the Gibson

I wrote this in early August of 2006, in the immediate aftermath of his anti-Jew DUI. Since I have blogged recently about Jews and William Wallace, I figured that I should re-affirm how I feel about that loon Mel Gibson.

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Well, I went out and rented The Passion of the Christ, and it literally nearly made me puke. The question is not is the movie a little anti-Semitic, it is radically anti-Semitic! Rome controlled the area with overwhelming military force, but could do precious little to stop the Jews from killing a Jewish Messiah? So a Jew who was a political threat to Romans, was an individual the Romans wanted to save? I am not buying it...Jesus was a Jew, he threatened Roman power, Rome wanted him dead, had him killed, then wrote history to blame the death on the very people that Jesus championed. And Herod, who was king of Judea at the time was an Arab in bed with the Romans.

I had no interest in watching the movie until Mel Gibson's true colours were exposed. All I know is that if Adolf Hitler was alive today, he would love Mel's movie. Mel helped write the screenplay, he bankrolled the movie, then produced and directed it. He portrayed the Jews as demons and blood thirsty animals. The sad thing is how many people watched this movie, and accepted it as historical fact, almost like a documentary.

I am the kind of person who strikes conversations with strangers about politics, history, philosophy, and religion. I have met a number of devoted Catholics who pretty much quote the Passion of the Christ to justify the Holocaust. As one Eastern European Catholic on my job site said to me, "There is always some truth to everything. Maybe Hitler had the right idea..."

I stopped him mid-sentence to tell him, "you'd be smart never to say that again."

Maybe Mel Gibson does not agree with his father that the Holocaust never happened, but he has written, produced, and directed a blockbuster movie that attempted to justify it...This film does shine a light on the source of Western anti-Semitism.