My New Year's Resolutions

I am proud to say that I achieved my one and only resolution of 2009, in what I can safely call one of the most enjoyable years of my life. My goal for 2009 was to become a published writer. Originally my plan was to submit stories to the National Post for print, but my propensity for slang, curse words, and abrasive statements are frowned upon in the world of print journalism (I have saved an e-mail from a NP editor who said that my material is really good, but not appropriate for newspapers). One day I realized that newspapers are going by way of the Dodo, and that I could publish my own material on my own site. Why jump on the Titanic when you can board a Swift Boat? I stumbled upon the Blogging Tories, and the rest is history.

I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first cheque from Google, which is in the mail, and will be placed on my wall along side my University Degree in Mathematical Economics and my Hole in One Certificate. I have to say, I probably spent more total sum hours with a smile on my face in 2009 than any other year of my life. Something about publishing my opinion to the general public has me jumping out of bed every morning like the guys in the Viagra commercials smiling like Bob from the Enzyte commercials.

So what resolutions am I going to set for 2010? Well since I already hit a hole in one, that's scratched off my bucket list. This year, maybe I will climb a mountain. Considering that 2009 was the happiest year of my life, I don't know how I can improve on it. I spent the day thinking of possible New Year's resolutions and this was the list of 15 that I came up with.  Perhaps 15 resolutions is too ambitious, but a number of them are either guaranteed to happen or easy to make happen.  Some will be more difficult than others.

1) Meet my MP John Weston
2) Climb a mountain (likely the Grouse Grind)
3) Debunk the Yes Men
4) Witness a Winter Olympic Games in person (100% probability of occurring)
5) One million page views (which given my traffic the last 3 months should be attainable)
6) Never take a day off (ergo my Nike T-Shirt that says in giant letters, EVERY DAMNED DAY!)
7) Break 100 in a round of par 72 golf
8) Start playing hockey again
9) Poke fun at the Toronto Maple Leafs at every opportunity
10) To earn more money in 2010 than I did in 2009
11) Remain alive
12) Crack more Levi Johnston jokes
13) Move to Alberta
14) Get Evan Soloman fired
15) Protest PETA

What do you think?  Oh, and seconds ago I finished watching Rex Murphy do his year in review, and I gotta say, this man is a reason for Canadians to watch the CBC.  Can we promote Rex to President of the CBC?  I would strongly support that.

20 Predictions for 2010

I would like to put on my "Nostradamus Hat" and attempt to look into the future ahead of us.  I am going to make some predictions of events that have some probability of occurring this calendar year.  I may be right, I may be wrong.  Regardless, I would like it recorded into the public record that I thought this might happen.  You are welcome to comment on the most likely and less likely.  It would make an interesting webpoll to ask which prediction is most likely to come true, though I don't want a 20 option poll.  Takes up too much space.

1) Jim Balsille will own a NHL team (may have to wait until Bettman is gone in 2011)
2) There will NOT be an election in Canada
3) Quebec City will break ground on a new arena
4) The Democrats will perform very poorly in midterm elections
5) The Toronto Maple Leafs are still not a playoff team
6) The "Yes Men" will be arrested at the Vancouver Olympics
7) Justin Trudeau gets somebody pregnant
8) Canada will earn more medals than Norway in Vancouver
9) The TSX will be back in black
10) The Iceman moves to Calgary
11) Gordon Campbell will introduce at least 3 new taxes in BC
12) Dalton McGiunty's approval rating will be lower in 365 days
13) Sarah Palin announces her candidacy for President after the midterm elections
14) Iran has their own Tiananmen Square
15) Hezbollah becomes more hostile
16) Levi Johnston gets a book deal
17) Joe Biden will say something stupid
18) Jim Flaherty will find a way to reduce government spending
19) The Turkish military is in Northern Iraq
20) Bin Laden remains at large