I have been giving it a lot of thought lately, and it's about time that the government buys me a house. I'm considering going on a hunger strike until I get what should rightfully be mine. As a Canadian citizen, it should be a basic human right that the government buys me a house; and not just a shack in the woods, it needs to be a nice house wherever I want to live. I don't think that I should be responsible for cleaning or maintaining this house. I'd like the government to provide a maid service to keep my house liveable.
While we're at it, I only want to work for a few months per year. So on top of my new house, I'm demanding a living wage for extended seasonal vacations, provided by the government. This feels like a basic human right and a benefit I should be entitled to, and I won't eat until I get it from the Prime Minister. I also want the right to self government in my free house. If I want to open a casino or sell cheap smokes out of my basement, that should be my right as a Canadian.
Also, the government should pay off the balance of my student loan. Education is a right, but not one I should have to pay for. It's a right of mine that rich people should have to pay for me. A new car would be nice too. Everybody should get to own a car, a nice new car. A new Zamboni would be even better. Why doesn't the government pay for my trips to the dentist? They should. Failure to pay for me to get my teeth whitened is denying me basic minimal living conditions that should come automatically with my Canadian citizenship.
Since I make under $50,000 per year, I should not have to pay any taxes on anything. Let's just tax the rich. I want a card that exempts me from paying taxes. However the government should be forbidden from reviewing my finances for any reason. That should be a basic human right extended to all Canadians (except rich people), including free gas. I want free gas. Beiber gets free gas, I want free gas. Seems fair. Free gas should be a basic human right. Throw in a free car wash every now and then. I won't eat until this demand is met.
I'm willing to die for what's rightfully mine. I'm not going to take it anymore! I am owed a better life and will no longer stand idly by while the government denies my basic human rights.
“When several villages are united in a single complete community, the state comes into existence, originating in the bare needs of life, and continuing in existence for the sake of a good life.”